Our new home

I believe I've touched briefly on our previous living situation, but it would be a hassle to find it for you and me both. If you have already read about it, skip down to the arrow.

I moved to Raleigh with my father when I was 7, but we moved so fast we didn't really have a place to go. We stayed with my uncle for a couple of weeks, and then he mentioned it to a friend and this friend had an unused upstairs. We moved into it for a moderate rent, and I stayed there until I was 17. My dad moved to my grandmother's and I moved out for nearly a year, and moved back for another. Overall I spent about 11 years actually living there through a span of 12 years. During that last year, just a short while after moving back in myself, Wally moved in with me. The house itself wasn't horrible. Big enough, and in a prime area, but privacy was a big issue. Dave, being under us, could hear us have sex, or watch tv, or smell our cigarette smoke. I love Dave, but it's inconvenient for a long term couple to live with anyone else. We'd have to wait until nighttime to cook because that's when Dave would be gone. We smoked inside because going outside each time would have annoyed Dave. We couldn't just play loud music when we wanted to, or clean when we wanted to, everything had to revolve around someone else's schedule. The other issue was the condition of the house. The roof leaked a bit, the plumbing was occasionally faulty, and there was mold. The lack of privacy along with the condition of the home made living there very unpleasant. But as my dad says, "when you're broke, you're broke," which is exactly the same as "beggars can't be choosers," and we were broke. We'd miss rent and have to pay it months later, and another place was out of the question as our rent was $400. (You can't beat that in Raleigh unless you want to share a bed with roaches.) Dave was understanding and gave us any time we needed, if we had lived under a lease or with another landlord we would've lost our home several times over. Wally was working Geek Squad then and we had more than a few weeks we worried about food. A couple of months ago, he got a new job and we were able to afford our new apartment. Now you're caught up.

> We moved into a one bedroom in north Raleigh and it has been a spectacular change for us both. We have a balcony, so we smoke outside now, and you wouldn't believe the difference that makes. I have a dishwasher, our roof doesn't leak, and we can cook, do laundry, shower, fuck, whatever we wish at any given time during the day. (We could do anything at night as well, but living in an apartment we do have to consider our neighbors. The greatness is not having to wait for someone else to go to work to do things.) We have a lovely fireplace, a laundry room, and a large closet for the bedroom, plus a coat closet, outside storage, a linen closet, and shelving above the washer and dryer. These spaces maximize our living areas and make my job, of being an unmarried housewife, a hell of a lot easier. We also live closer to Naz, my best friend, and closer to the heart of the city, which opens up more job opportunities for me, and gives us more to do.

This move had been long anticipated and being here finally is like a godsend. It's amazing how different our day to day is, and what it's done for our relationship and overall health and happiness.

It seems trite to place so much on an apartment, but it saved us in so many ways. We breathe easier, we eat healthier, we have sex more often, we keep a cleaner and more inviting home, and have the space now to get cats (which I mentioned in my previous entry that we are in the process of adopting).

Another big thing that makes me so happy about moving, and maybe for Wally too, was the old place held so many bad memories. I grew up there, and my growing up was difficult at best and downright draining most of the time. Like any couple, we do have disagreements, and we make mistakes and hurt each other's feelings. This was only amplified by the events preceding our relationship, events that left me in a hollow and broken place, and him in the same. We were extremely stressed out, and dealing with living in a place that not only reminded us of the fights but was also a generally unhappy place to live.

Living here, it's like a clean slate. The walls don't echo our disagreements, or 11 years of bad memories for me, and since we're generally happier (partially because of the move and partially because of other things) we don't have nearly as many problems, not that we had very many to begin with. Any problems we do have now are worked out without hostility, without long drawn out arguments, and are infrequent. We've grown closer, we've shaved away pounds of stress, and our new home actually feels like a home. That is bliss.

Now if only Wally would stop rolling over onto me while I try to type... =)